Your honor, Your Honor

 

It’s time for a little levity. Kentucky State Judge Martin Sheehan presided over what must have been an incredibly contentious and time consuming civil lawsuit.

In his ruling, which was posted on the legal humor blog, loweringthebar.net, Judge Sheehan expressed his relief that a case has been settled and thereby removed from his dockets.

In his order, Judge Sheehan wrote:

“Such news of an amicable settlement [has] made this court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a 12 foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial … which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory.”

Judge Sheehan concluded his ruling by instructing the Clerk of Court to “engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of the [case] file to the clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nice work, Judge.

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